Sexuality

    No one is born "Sexual." Being Sexy, flaunting one's sexuality or attributes is a learned skill. Be it from experience, peers, or reading, anyone can be taught to act sexy or sexual and learn what to do during a sexual encounter. Seeing someone as sexy depends upon the individual. As they say, "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder."

    One can be sexy, may or may not have sex, and, but, if it happens, can be attained with or without passion or love.

Sensuality a Trait?

     Lineup 100 people, they will "All" say they are sensual.......and they are but, not at the same levels! All humans are born with traits. Different "Potential" levels of Intelligence, and Common Sense. Also they are born with different "Potential" levels of Sensuality.

     I say "Potential" because the levels that one feels comfortable at may never reach their "Potential" due to their life experiences, intellectual, & emotional backgrounds.

Intelligence: Defined in many different ways, including the abilities, but not limited to, abstract thought, understanding, self-awareness, communication, reasoning, learning, having emotional knowledge, retaining, planning, and problem solving. Because IQ tests measure your potential ability to understand ideas and not the quantity of your knowledge, learning new information does not automatically increase your IQ.

Common Sense: Defined by Merriam-Webster as, "sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts." Thus, "common sense" (in this view) equates to the knowledge and experience which most people already have, or which the person using the term believes that they do or should have. The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as, "the basic level of practical knowledge and judgment that we all need to help us live in a reasonable and safe way."

Sensuality: All too often confused with sexuality. Beginning with awareness, sensuality encompasses the exploration and experiencing of all our senses. Basically, it is not what you do, but how you do whatever you do. As I said, everyone is born at a "Level"

    Within that level of sensuality, you can have good days where you may attain near your potential or bad days where you bottom out suppressing your emotions.

    Sensuality is that “intangible thing, a look, a touch, a smile, an "Aura" surrounding you, an inner passion, a chemistry. It shows in one's eyes and body language. Some wrongly call it emotional neediness. Whatever you want to call it, it's felt between two people...within a relationship, friendship or even just an acquaintance.

    Trying to explain to someone, at a lower potential level, what sensuality is much like trying to explain to a blind person what it is to see the sun.

    If you don’t feel that emotional “need” inside then you won’t look for it nor reciprocate to someone who is.

    In actuality, the level you were born at is irrelevant. What does matter is the potential level of your partner.

    In a relationship, if the levels of two people are at, or near the same, the chemistry can be beautiful and the relationship has a good chance of growing into more. If the levels of "need" are too far apart, unfortunately one will always be satisfied with the other while one will always feel "something" is missing eventually feeling an inner hurt emotionally.

    In my life, I've observed, at birth, all people are endowed with a blend of four basic sub traits, categories or directions in life.....but as in a stew one or more traits usually rise to the top. One always stands out more than any other and becomes our true nature. Depending upon which trait rises to the top, I call these people:

1)"The Sensual" (embellish the emotional aspects of life....these feel the need to give even when not receiving emotions back)
2)"The Intellectual" (readers, learners, dreamers......enthralled by love but can't always express that love to a partner)
3)"The Materialist" (into acquisitions, things they can own........buys their love gifts, furs, jewelry, mostly incapable of showing or giving the emotion level in return to their partner at the higher level)
4)"The Egotist" (into themselves, their own needs, conquests....takes all that they can but feels minimal emotional desire to return it)

     A true Egotist, by nature, can never be truly Sensual nor can a high level sensual person be an egotist. It's an Oxymoron! "The Sensual" feels the need to give even if not receiving back, while "The Egotist" tends to only take without the need to return. It's like a seesaw...as one goes up the other goes down.

    Another way of looking at sensuality is it's through its emotional aspect........
    I feel there are 3 different emotions within any relationship that have nothing to do with each other.

They Are:
1)"Attraction"............Emotional attraction...with many stages that may occur....liking, friends, lust, infatuation, then maybe "Love."
2)"Sexuality".............The physical act of expressing emotional physical needs.
3)"Sensuality"........... Awareness of those emotional feelings….not what you do but how you emotionally express yourself doing whatever you do.

     One's sensuality creates an invisible "Aura" that emanates from one's body depending upon one's emotional level, similar to heat rising from a toaster, yet searching for another's "Aura" in return. Every person radiates that "Aura" regardless whether they are happy, sad, or angry. The strength of that "Aura" depends upon the level of sensuality they were born with.

    As singer Tina Turner so well put it, "What's love got to do with it?"

     In a "relationship" you don't need to have love or sensuality to engage in sex. You don't need to have sensuality or sex to love someone. You don't need to have to have love or sex to be sensual with someone either.

     What makes a great relationship is to have all three at or near the same level as your partner needs. When all the cosmic tumblers fall into place, it's not "Having Sex," your "Making Love!"