Unfortunately, not all "Love" is as "Loving" as it seems....
First, I must say, there is nothing wrong with someone doing things "out of love" but, there is a group of people who find it hard to express their feelings outwardly to their partner. Instead, they believe they are expressing their emotions by what they call "Doing with Love"
"Doing with Love" Relationship: Doing things, for their partner, in the name of love but one that is minimally/rarely physical nor passionate, where one or both partners define this as "True Love." If both partners find it acceptable so be it.
I'm well aware this form of "Love" can be debated upon over and over for decades.
The $64,000 question: In a marriage or long term relationship, since there is minimal physical interaction or passion, realistically, is "Doing with Love" really expressing “Love?”
If both partners find it hard to express their feelings, their emotional levels are equal, and rarely have a problem.
When unequal levels exist, when one partner doesn't feel that "Love," is it really "Love," "Compassion," or just a level of "Comfortability?" The usual outcome is where one doesn't feel the other is really "In Love" with them!!!
Unfortunately, many undemonstrative men believe they are showing their love by working long hours, putting a roof over their wife's head, and paying the bills. Understandably, their partners don't feel the needed emotions supposedly generated by it and problems will definitely arise.
Similarly, many undemonstrative women believe it is easier to "Do With Love" than express it. This creates new problems in relationships. If they are living together the relationship eventually will end without the emotions.
If they are married, it can pose an interesting question to the wife... What are the differences between a Partner "Doing with Love" and just having a Hired Housekeeper/Nanny?
Obviously, the wife would usually respond, "I do everything with love"
To some, the answer to the question, sadly, is not as obvious as it seems...
Maybe, by seeing the differences charted, it might help these people better understand what I am saying.
The List
If you’re not sure of what I meant from the above explanation, make this list. If you’re not sure of what I meant from the above explanation, make this list. You will see it’s valid for both men and women.
1) Take a sheet of paper 8.5” x 11” fold it into 3 columns. At the top of column #1, put the word “List” At the top of column #2, Place the word “You” At the top of column #3 place the word “Partner”
2) Now, in column #1, Make a list of things you believe you are doing to show your partner love.
3) In column #2, (to the right of each task in column #1) place an “A” if you feel this “LOVE” “Throughout” as you the task. Place an “S” if you only feel it “Sometimes.” Place an “R” if you “Rarely” feel that love. Place an "N" for Never
4) In column #3, (to the right of each task in column #1) place an “A” if you feel your partner should feel that “LOVE” “Throughout” as you the task. Place an “S” if your partner should only feel it “Sometimes.” Place an “R” if your partner should “Rarely” feel that love. Place an "N" for Never
If you’re still not sure what I mean here are some examples:
(Stay Home Women/Men)
Doing_With_Love__When You feel the love__When Partner/Spouse Should
Cooking
R
Cleaning
S
Laundry
N
Food Shopping
A
Sewing & Ironing
N
Picking Up After
R
Driving to Appointments
S
Writing the checks
R
Gifts
A
(Working Men/Women)
Doing_With_Love__When You feel the love__When Partner/Spouse Should
Working (all day)
R
Paying the Bills
N
Driving to Appointments
S
Repairing around the Home
S
Vacations
A
Helping out at Home
S
Family Obligations
S
Picking Up After
R
Gifts
A
Hunting, Fishing (for food)
N
Now Continue:
5) Now here comes the interesting part. In column #1:
6) Cross off any items that you would have done for yourself if living alone.
7) Cross off any items that you would be doing for you siblings living with you.
8) Cross off any items that you would be doing for a close friend, or family member, living in your home if he/she were unable to do it themselves, i.e. elderly parent.
9) Cross off any task that a hired person would be able to perform in your home.
Nothing left not crossed out on the list??
If your partner is comfortable with the above then you are “Extremely Lucky!”
The Question Was:
"What is the difference between a Partner and a Hired Housekeeper/Nanny?"
The Answer:
For most parties, in a “loving” relationship, what should be left not crossed off are:
Regular expressions of love and affection, physical intimacy & passion. Whereas, that is not shown by any hired individual.
Seriously, think about it!
You don't get affection from someone you hire nor from someone just "Doing with Love." Definitely not if there isn’t physical interaction!!
Is it truly "Love" if you don't feel it from your partner or is it just a "Level of Comfortability"???
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